Q+A #1: Your stories matter
A guide to owning and sharing your stories, your voice, and your art
Hey friends,
A couple of weeks ago, I shared that I was looking for some reader questions. In the responses, the themes of sharing our art, stories, and voices came up more than once - especially with regards to feeling like you have nothing to say or add to the conversation.
This is a subject very close to my heart.
Although I now write and share freely, it hasn't always been that way. Three years ago, after more than a decade as a travel writer, I reached a place where I felt like I had to centre everything and everyone else first, while I just faded into the background. A silent observer of my life, rather than an active participant.
I felt like I'd sold out my voice, stories, art, and creativity for a paycheck.
It was a big wake-up call.
Even though I was always fascinated by everyone else's stories, it took me a long time to see that others might also be interested in what I had to say - and even longer for me to feel confident enough to share it without having the nod of approval from someone else first.
But, after a lot of trial and error, soul searching, mentoring, and months of sitting and sharing with strangers on the other side of the world in 3am writing circles, I found my way through.
Now, one of my favourite things about creative mentoring and running writing workshops is being able to help others reclaim their voices and stories, too.
In this piece, I share some of the things that have helped me on my journey to owning and appreciating my stories and my voice, along with some other insights and a couple of other things to try.
I also end with an invitation to join me in my next creative circle, where we can put some of this into action.
1. Your story is worth telling
Every single one of us has our own unique story and our own unique voice. No one else in the history of humankind has ever had your story.
Your story matters, because no one has been through everything you’ve been through, had your experiences, or seen the world through your eyes. Your voice matters, because no one else can tell your story better than you.
I know what it’s like to doubt that. My ex used to tell me I told “shit” stories. He would even take over and tell them for me, acting like he was doing everyone a favour. It took me a long time to rebuild my confidence and reclaim my voice and my stories as my own.
If you’ve ever felt like your story doesn’t matter, try and think about how you feel about other people’s stories. I bet you love hearing stories from your family, your friends, even strangers.
Other people feel the same about yours. I promise.
2. Why every story matters
In a world that often highlights division, our stories and voices can be a bridge, helping others start to see things from outside their own perspectives. They can also act like a doorway, inviting others to share their stories - like the Alzheimer’s post I shared last week.
The truth is, we’re biologically, socially, and culturally trained to fear that which is “other”, or “unknown” to us. We’ve long been conditioned to care more about who - and what - we can understand, and fear those - and that - which we don’t.
However, it is possible to overcome all of this - and listening to other people’s stories and lived experiences, in their voices, is a key part. Stories create understanding. They offer new perspectives. Other people’s stories helps us understand them better - to feel a sense of connection and kinship.
They also remind us that, beneath our differences, we’re not actually so different after all.
This is why projects like the Human Library are so important - especially in this age when racism, transphobia, bigotry, and fear of people who are different from us are running rampant.
3. Your voice is important
When I used to run a writing workshop called Writing the Stories of our Lives, many participants had a burning desire to write, but feared their stories weren’t interesting enough; like they had nothing to say.
Most people expected it to be a heads-down pens-moving kind of workshop, but I found the biggest transformations actually came from sharing our stories aloud.
We’d start with simple sparks; I had a jar of ideas, and we used them as a jumping-off point to write - and share - a tiny story.
The stories weren’t dramatic or groundbreaking - but they were deeply human. They touched on memories of school shoes, Christmas trees, baking with grandmothers, or stomping on crunchy leaves.
Even though no one there would have previously described themselves as a writer, every person’s story cast a spell over the room.
It didn’t take much for everyone to start feeling more confident in themselves and their voices, and more connected to each other, the world, and their words.
It was magic.
Please believe me when I say: Your stories matter. Your voice matters.
4. We all have to start somewhere
Sharing our voices, our stories, or our art is hard. It means opening ourselves up to being seen; to being vulnerable. To get there, we have to overcome fear, self-doubt, and rejection, navigate silence and people who don’t get it, and try to back ourselves, through it all.
Many of us also feel like there’s no room for mistakes, experimentation, error, or exploration; like if our stories aren’t bold or exciting, our art isn’t perfect, or we’re not adding something profound to the conversation then there’s no point in even trying.
It’s easier to tell ourselves our work isn’t ready; there are enough voices out there already; there’s no room for us at the table.
For years, I believed that too.
Even after a decade as a published writer, it took me a full year to gather the courage to press post on my first Substack.
I found it really hard to back myself without the security of an editor telling me it was good enough and giving it the seal of approval before I sent it out into the world. I found it hard to centre myself as the main character in my work. I wondered why anyone would care.
But then I realised I would never say that to a friend or a client. Our voices are always needed, and every single one of us has something of value to say.
So, if you’ve been waiting for permission to take up space: Here it is.
5. What do you want to leave the world?
If you've been here a while, you’ll probably know I'm fascinated by ghost towns and this idea of legacy and the things we leave behind.
It's a little morbid, perhaps, but I genuinely believe befriending our mortality is a fast-track ticket to making the most of our precious time here on this beautiful planet.
It’s also a great way of spurring us into taking action on those pesky dreams. Dreams like mine - to leave a written breadcrumb trail of who I was, my stories, my experiences, and my photos, in my own words.
I wanted to write what it was like to lose my mum, in the moment, not afterwards. I wanted to document my journey of shifting out of travel writing and stepping into my role as a creative mentor. I wanted to share the breakthroughs I’d had from all my years travelling the world, and all the lessons I’d learned.
I wanted to write it while I still could. I don't like the idea of someone else going through all my notebooks and misinterpreting things. I wanted to write it all myself.
So I did.
And now, I hope, you might too.
Reflection questions
How do you feel about sharing your stories, your voice, your creative projects, or your work? Do you share freely or hold yourself back?
Whose stories have shaped or inspired you? And what might your story offer to someone else?
If fear or doubt weren’t a factor, what would you share more openly?
What would it feel like to show up just as you are, without needing to be “ready” or “perfect”?
What’s a question you’d love to be asked? Something you don’t often get the chance to talk about but wish you could.
An invitation
If this piece sparked something in you, I’d love for you to join my next Creative Circle on Wednesday, March 5th (8:30 AM GMT | 4:30 PM AWST | 7:30 PM AEDT). It’s free for all subscribers, and we’ll write and share stories together. If we have a small enough group - and people are open to it - we could even try the “Human Library” exercise.
RSVP here.
Whether you can make it or not, please know this: Your voice matters. Your stories matter. And the world is better with you in it.
Catch you next week,
Cxx
PS: If you enjoy my work or my words and want to dive in deeper you can:
Join me for a 1:1 creative mentoring call where we can talk about all of this and more.
Come to my free monthly creative circles. The next one is on March 5th.
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I love this. You are exactly the right person to help mould them into something beautiful and real. Xx
Very helpful, Cassie!
#1 - I tend to hold back, but I'm trying to push through it as I enjoy connecting with others over shared experiences! Usually, the bits I'm afraid to share are the ones that resonate most.