no big thoughts from me other than: i feel this one. i spend a lot of time in my head dissociating, and while it helped me get through life for a long time, it’s not serving me anymore and i too feel like im working on living a more embodied life. but i hate discomfort and am trying to not always make what feels like the safe choice every time…it’s hard.
Yeah, it's hard. It's so hard. Even acknowledging it is a really important first step, though. Most people don't ever get that far!! I'd be interested to know what you mean about always making the "safe choice" though. From reading your posts and our chats here, I feel like there are many unknowns in your life at the moment too with life and dissertation stuff and work and visas and everything else, so it's okay to make safe and comforting choices as a coping mechanism to get you through those big stretchy unknowns that are out of your control! It's a tough place to be, so I'm sending you lots of love on this journey too! xx
Loved every part of this Cassie- as I do all your writing. I feel in a similar stage of life although with different life features playing havoc with my enjoyment of the now and not dwelling on sadness of the past, or anxiety for for the future holds…finding my way out of this rut I hope one day may be the feature of something creative if I can harness the inspiration and hold on to an idea longer than a couple of days! I’m still recovering from surgery so doubt I’ll be ready to commit the time to working with you before your trip but I hope to tee something up when you’re back and have capacity xx lots of love xx
Yeah, it's an interesting place to be when the "present" feels more like a liminal space or a holding place rather than a place of life and living. It's kind of awful when you feel like you're wishing parts of your life away, but at the same time the "recovery" stage of anything - and the whole all-encompassing unknown of Alzheimer's just want to be skipped-through, too. Like cmon, let's fast forward to the good bit! This sucks! Haha.
All that said, I'd love to work together when you're doing better and I'm back :) You have such a beautiful creative soul with all your wonderful artworks. Sometimes there's beauty in trying it all out rather than finding one that sticks. The experimentation playful stage is such an important part of the creative journey and also can't be skipped or fast-forwarded!
I'm also not sure how connected you are to nature or reading, but The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating is quite a beautiful book about convalescence. I'm also reading Bright Shining by Julia Baird at the moment - she also wrote Phosphorescence which was great.
Anyway, I could bang on all day but just know I'm here for you when you're ready! Sending you lots of love and healing vibes too xx
Thanks for sharing this, Cassie! I think I’m more inclined these days to choose comfort, BUT I still like a certain level of discomfort. More in the sense of being challenged and not becoming complacent. Maybe before it was something like 20% comfort / 80% discomfort, but somehow I’ve managed to swap the two. Might just be part of getting older (almost 40) and no longer giving a fuck. 💛
Ooh thanks for sharing too! There's such an interesting juxtaposition between the areas we choose comfort and those we choose discomfort, especially in the areas that comfort could mean "settling" and not challenging and pushing ourselves. I honestly think that having my physical body comfortable means I can challenge my mind further, though!
I also agree that getting older has definitely changed things, too, along with this situation with my mum. I often talk to my mentor about how my capacity for discomfort and the unknown feels like it's shrunk, but actually it's expanded massively - it's just that between freelancing and mum stuff it has to carry the burden of more than it ever had to before! Those cappuccinos made just the way we like them and other home comforts have to carry a lot more weight these days ;) xx
no big thoughts from me other than: i feel this one. i spend a lot of time in my head dissociating, and while it helped me get through life for a long time, it’s not serving me anymore and i too feel like im working on living a more embodied life. but i hate discomfort and am trying to not always make what feels like the safe choice every time…it’s hard.
Yeah, it's hard. It's so hard. Even acknowledging it is a really important first step, though. Most people don't ever get that far!! I'd be interested to know what you mean about always making the "safe choice" though. From reading your posts and our chats here, I feel like there are many unknowns in your life at the moment too with life and dissertation stuff and work and visas and everything else, so it's okay to make safe and comforting choices as a coping mechanism to get you through those big stretchy unknowns that are out of your control! It's a tough place to be, so I'm sending you lots of love on this journey too! xx
Loved every part of this Cassie- as I do all your writing. I feel in a similar stage of life although with different life features playing havoc with my enjoyment of the now and not dwelling on sadness of the past, or anxiety for for the future holds…finding my way out of this rut I hope one day may be the feature of something creative if I can harness the inspiration and hold on to an idea longer than a couple of days! I’m still recovering from surgery so doubt I’ll be ready to commit the time to working with you before your trip but I hope to tee something up when you’re back and have capacity xx lots of love xx
Yeah, it's an interesting place to be when the "present" feels more like a liminal space or a holding place rather than a place of life and living. It's kind of awful when you feel like you're wishing parts of your life away, but at the same time the "recovery" stage of anything - and the whole all-encompassing unknown of Alzheimer's just want to be skipped-through, too. Like cmon, let's fast forward to the good bit! This sucks! Haha.
All that said, I'd love to work together when you're doing better and I'm back :) You have such a beautiful creative soul with all your wonderful artworks. Sometimes there's beauty in trying it all out rather than finding one that sticks. The experimentation playful stage is such an important part of the creative journey and also can't be skipped or fast-forwarded!
I'm also not sure how connected you are to nature or reading, but The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating is quite a beautiful book about convalescence. I'm also reading Bright Shining by Julia Baird at the moment - she also wrote Phosphorescence which was great.
Anyway, I could bang on all day but just know I'm here for you when you're ready! Sending you lots of love and healing vibes too xx
Thanks for sharing this, Cassie! I think I’m more inclined these days to choose comfort, BUT I still like a certain level of discomfort. More in the sense of being challenged and not becoming complacent. Maybe before it was something like 20% comfort / 80% discomfort, but somehow I’ve managed to swap the two. Might just be part of getting older (almost 40) and no longer giving a fuck. 💛
Ooh thanks for sharing too! There's such an interesting juxtaposition between the areas we choose comfort and those we choose discomfort, especially in the areas that comfort could mean "settling" and not challenging and pushing ourselves. I honestly think that having my physical body comfortable means I can challenge my mind further, though!
I also agree that getting older has definitely changed things, too, along with this situation with my mum. I often talk to my mentor about how my capacity for discomfort and the unknown feels like it's shrunk, but actually it's expanded massively - it's just that between freelancing and mum stuff it has to carry the burden of more than it ever had to before! Those cappuccinos made just the way we like them and other home comforts have to carry a lot more weight these days ;) xx