i’ve been feeling the same way recently, as i’m in the middle of a fairly aimless period during my PhD where everyone expects me to be uber productive and make discoveries and yada yada yada. “how little can you do (for other people/their expectations)? can you make your goals even smaller? why don’t you want to be uber productive during this time?” are things i keep asking myself. it’s been tough to listen to the voice from within that is telling me to be patient and dare to think slowly and deliberately and intentionally, but it’s been good to know that that voice is there after all…
I think when we chase big multi-year goals like a PhD or similar we need to have periods of rest and recovery to support the periods of more frenzied activity and growth. There are seasons for everything. As long as you're doing alright and your supervisor is fine then other people's expectations don't matter. Especially when a lot of these expectations aren't actually THEIR expectations, they're the expectations we expect them to have. Which also makes that little voice of truth even more powerful! And the more we listen and act and learn to trust it, the louder it gets :) good luck with the rest time - and the PhD!!
We didn’t have the same experience but very similar. Thank you for writing this honest piece and sharing it with us.
After I shut down my consulting business, I wanted to just write, on my Substack and get going on my book. I wanted that mental space because, like you, at the end of my PR career, the projects that would take me a couple hours would take me a week. I knew I had to slow down and do something different. I did not slow down, in fact, I ended up starting a podcast with a friend! It was self sabotage. I learned a lot. I quit the pod recently and now I’m here with my original writing goals. Will I learn my lesson and understand that my process can be slower? I hope so. My nervous system needs it to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience too!
I'm sorry that you went through that - the "shiny object/project syndrome" is real, hey? And gosh it gets so much harder when friends are involved, too. It can't have been easy but I'm so proud of you for quitting the pod and giving yourself the chance to go back to your goals.
I genuinely don't believe any experience is ever wasted; I actually think all this "living" makes me a better mentor and gives me better content for my book (and this substack!), but I also understand how frustrating it can be and how much of a toll it takes.
Here's hoping you can give your nervous system a break now and let the grass be greenest where you've watered it 💜
i’ve been feeling the same way recently, as i’m in the middle of a fairly aimless period during my PhD where everyone expects me to be uber productive and make discoveries and yada yada yada. “how little can you do (for other people/their expectations)? can you make your goals even smaller? why don’t you want to be uber productive during this time?” are things i keep asking myself. it’s been tough to listen to the voice from within that is telling me to be patient and dare to think slowly and deliberately and intentionally, but it’s been good to know that that voice is there after all…
I think when we chase big multi-year goals like a PhD or similar we need to have periods of rest and recovery to support the periods of more frenzied activity and growth. There are seasons for everything. As long as you're doing alright and your supervisor is fine then other people's expectations don't matter. Especially when a lot of these expectations aren't actually THEIR expectations, they're the expectations we expect them to have. Which also makes that little voice of truth even more powerful! And the more we listen and act and learn to trust it, the louder it gets :) good luck with the rest time - and the PhD!!
We didn’t have the same experience but very similar. Thank you for writing this honest piece and sharing it with us.
After I shut down my consulting business, I wanted to just write, on my Substack and get going on my book. I wanted that mental space because, like you, at the end of my PR career, the projects that would take me a couple hours would take me a week. I knew I had to slow down and do something different. I did not slow down, in fact, I ended up starting a podcast with a friend! It was self sabotage. I learned a lot. I quit the pod recently and now I’m here with my original writing goals. Will I learn my lesson and understand that my process can be slower? I hope so. My nervous system needs it to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience too!
I'm sorry that you went through that - the "shiny object/project syndrome" is real, hey? And gosh it gets so much harder when friends are involved, too. It can't have been easy but I'm so proud of you for quitting the pod and giving yourself the chance to go back to your goals.
I genuinely don't believe any experience is ever wasted; I actually think all this "living" makes me a better mentor and gives me better content for my book (and this substack!), but I also understand how frustrating it can be and how much of a toll it takes.
Here's hoping you can give your nervous system a break now and let the grass be greenest where you've watered it 💜